It simply means that you have to work hard."
A year ago today Sarah and I were at Starbucks before work. Sarah had ordered her coffee and I was just getting ready to when dystonia took over my whole body. I found myself not being able to get out what kind of coffee I wanted. Sarah turned to the cashier and instantly took over "She wants a white chocolate mocha". You could tell that the cashier had felt bad.
I however understood that my speech was difficult to understand at all this time last year. My own Mom could hardly understand it. How could I expect a complete stranger to understand? This morning taught me a lesson. It's okay to need help sometimes!
Little did I know this would be one of the last months before enduring endless tests, doctor appointments, and a scare with dystonia taking a turn for the worst. I would soon find myself opening up a brand new chapter to this journey. I would soon be faced with some tough decisions that most aren't ever faced with in their entire life.
I would soon find myself in Indy being watched by yet another Neurologist. A Neurologist who I ended falling in love with. A Neurologist who would hold my hand through some tough news.
"Your daughter needs speech therapy bad. Has she ever had it before?"
"No. Nobody has ever mentioned this to us but her speech over the past year or so has really got tougher to understand."
"Well that's frustrating! Speech therapy should help her at least be able to speak more clearly!!"
My first reaction was "I am not doing that! That's stupid." I feel as if everything was just stupid during this time period. Like "Dude. Just fix me now and let's get on with the show!" Failing to realize that he was just a doctor practicing medicine. He couldn't just "Fix" dystonia. If only it were that simple, right?
Me to a T.
The moment that I realized that being stubborn wasn't helping my speech. It wasn't helping Dystonia. It was in fact holding me back from being the best Chelsi I could be. To get to that point though was hard. Like three months later hard. I'm glad I gave in because speech therapy has allowed me to have my independence back.
It's no secret that I was slowly losing that independence. Communication was a huge struggle this time last year. It was to the point of I wouldn't even talk on the phone anymore. For fear that I would just hear yet again "I can't understand you". Oh man. If I had a dollar for every time I heard someone tell me that I could be rich.
I am so thankful for the friends I have in this life. That when I started speech therapy their only reply was "That is awesome Chels!" OR "Chels! I am so proud of you. We know it's hard but we know you can do it!"
I am so thankful to Blake who became my very first ever speech therapist!
The amount of things he has taught me by just simply being MY friend.
Those moments where I felt like I had failed myself in life but no worries blake wasn't letting me stay there for too long. He pushed.
How thankful I am a year later that I made this decision.
Knowing it was going to be hard.
And knowing it wasn't always something I wanted to do.
It takes guts to face our own challenges head on.
How thankful I am to Amanda and Haley who really really pushed more and more this past semester!
A year ago I never imaged that Jesus would open a whole new chapter in this journey. However, today looking back at it all...I am SO thankful he DID. I would have never met Blake, Amanda, and Haley. And what a blessing they have been throughout my life as dystonia isn't always easy.
The journey hasn't always been easy but it has most definitely been worth every negative thing dystonia has brought.
To be at this point in my life is all Jesus at work.
A year later I am so thankful for the journey Jesus has allowed me to journey through.
Dystonia does get hard. Life is hard. Dystonia or no Dystonia.
Looking back today at how far I've come and how far I will go just makes my heart full.
As I fly to DC next month to speak on Capitol Hill I am reminded of this past year!
I'm reminded that I'm on a mission for Jesus.
I have a story to tell and knowing that my journey could help fund a cure just makes every bad day so worth it.
As I fly out next month I am praying and thanking Jesus for allowing me to share my story with congress and the world!
